Ilongto_DIE on Xanga

Ilongto_DIE
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: [F][a][l][l][e][n] Country: United States Gender: Female Interests: ... Expertise: ... Occupation: Student Industry: Art Message: message me Website: visit my website AIM: X ilong2 DIE X AIM: piercingxknife Member Since: 7/11/2005

SubscriptionsSites I Read

Subscribe to Ilongto_DIE
Get trial subscription

xXxHopelessFallsxXx
xXDarkened_FlameXx
darkicons
nobody_can_save_me_now
IcOnS_ThAt_RoCk_The_GrAvE
I_Wanna_Watch_You_Drown___Icon
tragicXwhore_LAYOUTSx
x06006606
DarknessCrawls
DeStRuKtIVEkId
fallen483
XxJadedxLaughsxX
projekt_14
xXGirlxOnxFireXx
CutKry
Anorexikangel15
fallingfromstars
Starless_Nlght
sadest_ana_iconz_ever
relinquishedpleasures
RomanDadAt19
Strawberry_Short_Cake28
razor_dollyx
Icon_sinner_666
YourWordsArePoison__x
greenday___grly
Xx_NeVeR_uR_hEaRtBrEaKeR_xX

Blogrings

Dark/Depressing Icons!!
previous - random - next

Gothic Icons
previous - random - next

Punk Rock and Gothic Icons
previous - random - next

Deadly Icons
previous - random - next

dark/suicidal/cutting icons
previous - random - next

~Cutting~:Not a cry for attention!!
previous - random - next

.:†:.Cutting the pain away.:†:.
previous - random - next

Tears of a Dying Soul
previous - random - next

Posting Calendar

\|<< oldest \| newest >>\|
view all weblog archives

Monday, August 15, 2005

Oh my Sony

Sweet dreams my dear Sony.

1:37 PM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Oh my Sony

Today I put you in a box. Along with all the memories. I have forever lost. With each item I put in. It gets harder and harder to believe. Me and You have finally reached our end. This is what you wanted. You don't need me. At least that’s what you said. I tend to disagree. Maybe not some day soon. But you will someday think back to me. And miss what we once had. All the silly arguments. Where neither of us could stay mad. Listening to the beat of your heart. while making promises. of never being apart. Photograph after photograph. Making stupid jokes. In an attempt to make me laugh. All the calls just say I love you. Forever lasting hugs. But unfortunately good times were few. There were billions of lies. Numerous times you cheated. Too many times you weren't by my side. Weeks without a word. Believing every single. rumor that you heard. Screaming in my face. Constantly putting. Me in my place. Laughing when I was down. Turning smiles. Into frowns. Tagging along. As your little trophy. Days that would go on and on. You never really cared about me. You played me as a fool. For some little reason I can't let things be. I miss you. And I love you. All the things I said were true. I wish you felt the same way too. You have proved to me your love was fake. As you always said. I was nothing but a huge mistake. No other girl will take. What I went through. Someday you'll want me. But I wont want you. The more I run this through my head. The more I wish you'd drop dead. Never again will I sink so low. This is my final good-bye. I love you and miss you but I’m not letting go.

I take the knife. And let it control me. I start making little marks. Until the blood, I can see. Then I push it deeper. Until the skin starts to split and open wide. I don't cry on the outside. The crimson tears are the only tears I cry. Take the knife and go crazy. Slicing deep into my wrist. Watch the blood pour out. As I clench my hand to a fist. Watch it bleed so fast. Releasing all my pain. And when the blood slows down a bit. I take the knife to my wrist again.





My shattered heart so hollow, inside me, so much pain, my bleeding soul, crying, lost love, tearing me apart. I am cursed to the sorrow, screams inside, heart slain, without you, I am dying, oh my darling, you got away with murder.





Waking up to scents, of dead roses in the air. Can’t stay where I am suppose to belong, in the shadows, but there is no where else I have left to go. The distance I can no longer see, a reminiscence I can bare no longer and search out for you. Scabbed angels at my feet. Ages passing and I feel already withered. Waking up hoping I could go back now, but time denies me. I can hear you through passing whispers, are you even there to hear my screams? Thought to many times you would come back for me, save me from the demons living off me. Haven’t yet found out if these things were meant to be, asked myself why death rejects me when I need release, nothing strong enough to pull my soul out from these depths, no wings yet to carry me so far, why have you betrayed me light, why must I drown so deep. Listen to my crushed soul weep as my soul seems to decrease, deeper and deeper, without age everything decays. Here within the shadows, which has made a stain out of me. Black velvet dreams, and your words I have long forgotten, along with the memories. This rose dies.'





Sweet dreams my dear Sony.

11:26 PM - 1 view - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Oh my Sony

"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave. I wish that you would just leave. cause your presence still lingers here. And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried I wiped away all of your tears. When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have. All of me. You used to captivate me. By your resonating life. Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind. Your face, it haunts. My once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away. All of the sanity in me. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried I wiped away all of your tears. When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears. And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have. All of me. I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me. I've been alone all along. When you cried I wiped away all of your tears. When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears.And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have. All of me.

She was living a broken life. She thought no one cared. She always wanted to be alone. All because of a love she once shared. He broke her heart. He made her cry. He told her lies. All this made her want to die. She swore to the razor. She would be its best friend. She couldn't get her mind off him. All this turned out bad in the end. He found her dead. He read the note. He couldn't believe it. In it is what she wrote:

"I loved you.With all my heart. But all you did. Was tear me apart. Im sorry and i still love you. I just wish you could have seen. What you did to me. Now I'm dead and only fourteen.."

He started to cry. He wanted her to know. He still loved her too. So then he though it was time for him to go. The police found him laying next to her, cold and bloody. with a note on the floor. It read:

"I loved you too. with all my heart. I didn't know. I was tearing you apart. I'm sorry and i still love you too. I just wish you could have seen. How much you meant to me. Now we are together. And always will be."

~~Sweet dreams my dear Sony.~~

3:34 PM - 1 view - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Friday, July 15, 2005

Oh my Sony

To this day on I still cry myself to sleep. Though you might not hear it, it's silent. I miss him.

It's been a long time, I've never seen you since the day i let you go.
but why does everytime i close my eyes, it's your face that i see.
everytime i breathe, it's your voice that i hear.
i know i have to move on,
have to live a life without you.
But before i stop thinking of you, i wanna ask you one thing..
are you still thinking of me too or does three years of my love not exsist to you anymore?

My love, please come back to me. I miss you so. I need you oh, I cant do this alone. I try to go on like I never knew you. But I cant, my dreams and memories keep comin back. I miss you, I need you, I love you, I cant go through another day without you. Baby please! Come back to me, please.

So many nights, let's tangle time, wrap me up in a dream with you. close up these eyes, try not to cry. all that I got to pull me through is memories of you... I'm falling into memories of you, things we used to do; follow me there: a beautiful somewhere, a place that I can share with you.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

A little girl in the crowd surrounded yet so alone. Could someone melt that heart of stone? Her eyes grow tired. Her soul is weary. Companion is what she seeks but the chances seem dreary. A wall surrounded her. A wall that protects. Also a wall that prevents from all those insects. Insects that sting, insects that fill your heart with hate, insects that kill. But that wall also keeps love from shining through. She is blind to see her world of black and blue. Can no one help her? Before she falls deep within that whole. Can no one help her? She's losing control. We are so blind to see that little girl surrounded yet so alone. Can no one melt that heart of stone?

It's so hard, to have lost the one you love. To finally have to say goodbye. You try to be strong, but the pain keeps holding on, and all that you can do is cry. Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on, when the fairytale that you once knew is gone.

Sweet dreams my dear Sony.

11:13 AM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Monday, July 11, 2005

Oh my Sony

To this day I still tremble in the nights darkness. Afraid I am, of the unseen. Scared I am, of what lurks in the nights shadows. I yearn to be free. Unbound from these chains that haunt me. To run through fields and medows of bleeding roses. Unable to move from this place you call home. Will I ever be released? Will I ever get to seek my wonders? Will I ever get to see the sun and the coulds? My doubt and pain I hold deep inside my skin, prevent me from finding peace. Alone I am, in the dark. Trapped forever and yet I wonder if here I will die? Falling to the ground, my shattered soul can no longer bare this pain any longer. I clench both my fists and reach them to an unseen beautiful sky. Yet I dare to close my eyes, remembering the wind softly hitting against my skin, pulling back my hair, but I know my feet will never wonder out from this prision of crimson pain.

Crimson falls to the floor, this angel’s life is broken and torn. Her clothes are drenched in crimson blood, her life is a never-ending flood. She holds a razor close in her hand, she loves to feel the razor burn. As the blood drips to the floor, she feels so calm like years before. Her blood is leaking, it’s flowing fast, she doesn’t know why she loves this self harm. Her mind goes blank she’s getting cold, she hates the why her soul was stole. Angel dressed in crimson red, holds a razor in her hand. It makes her life feel okay. It seems to take away her pain. She loves to cut deep into her skin, she loves to show the world her sins. Cutting to make God pay, make him pay for all her fucked up days. This angel is now fading fast, laying here still on the wet crimson stained snow. Her eyes are filled with crystal tears, her wrists are stained beyond the years. She lets out one last cry as she wastes away to die.

Sweet dreams my wonderful Sony.

3:04 PM - 1 view - 14 eprops - 8 comments - email it